No Time

I keep meaning to blog, I really want to keep our blog updated but I am not finding the time.  Christian is a very content baby during the day. He alternates days where he is really active in the day and is very sleepy during the day.  He takes a few long naps most mornings is when I  get my cleaning done and spend time with LeAnne now that she is home for the summer.  If there is any spare time during the day I sit down to relax and even catch a few winks if daddy is home. I use to blog a lot at night or early in the morning when LeAnne was little but this time around I use that time to sleep.  I learned a lot from LeAnne. I was very sleep deprived which triggered depression and anxiety so I am trying really hard not to go there with Christian. Christian has been very colicky since around 8 weeks.  He has had many nights where he will cry for 2-3 hours at night.  I have been able to hear the gas bubbles in his tummy and he spits up a lot. The absolute worse feeling as a parent is knowing your child is in pain and there is nothing you can do to console them.  There have been a few times I have gotten very rattled to my core and been so thankful John was there to take him or offer encouragement.  I have been trying to watch what I am eating as to not upset his stomach more, Dr. put him on Ranitadine (an antacid) and we are now experimenting with give him Similac formula for gassy/fussy babies his last bottle at night only.  I am struggling daily with the decision of whether to continue breastfeed to switch to formula.  I've begun pumping so others can help feed to give me a break.  I don't want to give up breastfeeding because it's a huge cost savings, when I am not in pain I enjoy the closeness with my son, and breast is suppose to be best.  I am considering giving up breast feeding because I have been having a lot of pain (working through latch issues/still having other pain at times) I am thinking things I am eating are making him extra gassy, and at times I am really feeling like I need to go back on my depression/anxiety medication.  I do very well until I don't then its no fun at all! I waited a long time (almost 2 years) after I had LeAnne to get help for depression/anxiety and I feel I really could have enjoyed her first two years more if I had not been struggling.  I don't want to wait that long to get help this time around.  I have been off my medication since becoming pregnant with Christian and had very few incidents where I really felt terrible but I am noticing myself getting more and more overwhelmed and anxious.  I told John the other day I completely forgot how overwhelming taking care of an infant can be. The rely on you for their ever need 24/7 and that's exhausting.  I am not complaining, I wouldn't trade my son for anything and I know this will pass.  The only reason I have time today is because Christian is taking a good afternoon nap and LeAnne is at grandma's baking.  :-)

LeAnne is very happy to have Grandma Marcia home and loves spending time with her.  LeAnne has set a goal to read 100 books this summer and as of this morning she has read 41 books. I love that she is a ravenous reading and pray it stays that way.  I have really enjoyed reading with her and hearing how well she is reading. I am amazed that she will be just 6 in October and is reading at a 2nd grade level.  She has a lot been doing a lot of journal writing.  She loves to write stories and draw.  She has been having a lot of fun having us play kick/catch with her in the back yard. I can't wait to get her swing set put up in our back yard. I just picked it up from Walmart today.  I am thinking John will get to work on it early next week because this week he has a TOUGH week of school.  He has taking 2 classes this summer working toward earning his Bachelor degree in Criminal Justice from WSU online.  The summer courses very difficult because its a compressed schedule. Sometime like 15 weeks crammed into 6 weeks.  LeAnne has also been enjoying arts and crafts and the library and can't wait to go to the beach in August.

Christian weighed 11 pounds 10 ounces and was 23 inches long at his 2 month well check last week.  The Dr is impressed with how alert he is.  The first comment we get from people who see him is something about how much hair he has.  Thinking he'll need his first hair cut before LeAnne and she had her first hair cut at 6 months.  He is smiling at us all and started to coo and make other adorable noises. He is wearing 0-3 months and some 3 month clothing.  I can't wait until summer gets her so I can have him just wear tee-shirt and his cute cloth diapers. Cloth diapering is going well.  I have 1 adorable custom diaper on the way, an Army one. Then can't wait to order a few more custom diapers in July or August.  Loving his little fluff but.  After he settles down for the night he is sleeping one good 5 hour stretch at night.  He and I are still sleeping downstairs. Him in his swing and me in my recliner.  I have tried to move him upstairs to his bassinet or the pack and play and he wakes up.  One day I will get to sleep laying down again. :-)  LeAnne still really enjoys her little brother and gets a big kick out of him smiling at her.  John adores his son! He is a huge help with both LeAnne and Christian! I appreciate his help with the kids a ton!  

I better get some pictures loaded up before little man wakes up.  I would like to say I will blog more but for now I just can't say that. I'll try but no promises.  I do need to document his milestones or I know I will forget.  Motherhood is really the hardest yet most rewarding job EVER!  oh speaking of jobs... I am officially now a stay at home mama! It's going to be interesting financially but I am praying we'll make it work.  So now I am working on figuring out my new role in life.  :-)