Sunday, January 17, 2010

Wanted: A manual for our dear 2 year old daughter...ASAP please!

I really think children should come with manuals. Oh how I hate not knowing what to do. I know there are a million and one child rearing books out there for a reason. Dear Lord, I seriously think you should send me a manual specifically tailored for my child. Okay so I get that I am not getting a manual, I hear ya'll laughing, I 'm sure I'll laugh one day but NOT today.

This is our 2nd weekend at church. LeAnne was happy playing with a stroller & the chairs set up for the puppet show when we left her in her Sunday school class. John & I were able to enjoy almost all of worship together, but just as I was starting to relax I hear her Sunday school teacher say mommy someone needs you. Same thing, she did well during play time, must have enjoyed the puppet show but when it came time for the lesson she was having none of it. The teacher has them all sit in chairs, listen to a verse, or short story and today they were doing a simple craft. I figured I would go back into the classroom to see if LeAnne would sit with me to listen to the verse and do the craft. She wanted nothing to do with sitting still, showed some interest in the craft then started to throw a fit. She was interrupting the whole class of 8-10 other 2-3 1/2 year olds who were sitting quietly at the table so I took her for a walk. I then brought her back, since they were about to have more play time. Watching her I play I began to notice she was the most vocal child in the room. The other kids were wandering around, quietly playing with things while our girl was talking about the toys, kicking a ball while saying "kick it", putting on a play hot pad saying "hot" and to my embarrassment she even acted like she was belching and said "excuse me". Oh my word!! I tried to walk out at one point, got out the door , she saw I was gone and started to cry so I went back in. A few minutes later she took my hand and said "walk", as if to say lets get out of here. She wanted nothing to do with snack time until it was time to sing a few songs. I tried to have her sit with me to sing. I had her interest for a few seconds before she there a huge fit and we left the class for good. I wonder why she is so much more vocal? Is it because she is an only child? Is it because we encourage her every move? Why are the others not vocal?

She has no clue how to be in a classroom. She sits still at home when we do something with her that she is interested in. (coloring, reading, play dough, and blocks) We went to church a few times when shew as a baby but stopped going because she wouldn't stay in the nursery then we didn't go back until recently. I know she needs to learn how to be in a classroom, how to take direction from a stranger but how do I help her learn how to do this? I was hoping she would feel comfortable enough with me there that she would get involved and learn how to be in the classroom. I know she is getting her way when we leave but she was disrupting the whole class and no adult in the room was doing anything to help us through this situation. All the other kids sat and listened so well and here I was with "that" unruly kid. Oh how I wished the teacher would have offered some advice or encouragement. She said nothing, didn't even look our way. I am at a loss. I really want our family to be able to go church. We all need to grow,to fellowship and have friends. I think we need to keep going but I don't know how to help her to learn to be in the classroom. All suggestions welcome.

One more question... How do you handle it when your toddler throws a tantrum? We have been going with the not paying attention to her and having her go to her room until she is done. This works some of the time. Other times, especially after nap time she just carried on and on and on with one tantrum after another. She will be sitting there and all of a sudden start screaming. the hardest part is not knowing why she is screaming. When she has a tantrum because she can't have or do something she wants I get that but when she just screams for no apparent reason I am puzzled.

We don't want to have "That unruly child". We don't want her to rule our life. I know I am way to patient. I am thinking consistency is key. Where is the balance? I don't like to yell at her. When she is melting down yelling makes her scream louder & longer. Ahhh again where is the manual folks?

She is a very busy, kind hearted, beautiful, smart girl with lots of emotions and opinions that she shares rather LOUDLY. I am praying, I have faith we'll get this figure out and then be on to the next phase. I know we'll laugh about this one day but NOT today. Dear Lord please give us wisdom!

1 comment:

DARA said...

I don't have a lot of advice, but consistency and maintaining calmness works well in any situation. Don't beat yourself up. Preschool might be a good option when she's three for a structured environment with other children.